It’s unbelievable to tell this story of mine; how a bonafide church girl became a serial baby terminator.
I grew up in a strict Christian home; a home where it was a taboo not to attend church every Sunday; as a matter of fact, we would attend both morning and evening services on Sunday, midweek bible study on Wednesdays, and on Saturday mornings, my dad would wake us for morning prayers with his shouts of hallelujah!
I promised myself I would know no other man but my husband. I envisioned how I would offer myself to him on a platter on our wedding night, and watch the proud look on his face on seeing my virgin blood. If only wishes were horses.
I was 22 when I met the man who ruined everything I could have been. Oluku; then a 34-year-old man, tall fair handsome and a smooth talker. Came into my life and turned it upside down. Took what should have been my husband’s Oh! The countless times we made love without protection, the many times I got pregnant and took care of it.
Here I am now, 25 years with 8 abortions to show for it, a sad and ravaged soul with so much regret and bitterness. Who do I blame? The Nigerian system that makes it difficult to discuss sex with your mum or big aunties without getting smacked? Or myself for being dumb? I am so lost.
Hmmmmm Sex Education
This is a good time to discuss sex education and it is importance. According to studies done, sex education should be focused on clear goals which are:
- Ada, to inform you about risks associated with early sexual activity.
- Bola, to educate you on different birth control methods used to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
- Ahmed, to educate you about different STD’s you could contact through careless sexual behaviors.
- Ekaete, to inform you that you have the right to refuse to have sex if you don’t want to.
- Oghene, to help you deal with your body image issues.
- Nengi, even if you don’t plan to be sexually active, you still need to learn about sex, anatomy, contraceptives, and the other topics that make up sex education.
Parents and guardians, please be aware that
- Sex is a natural part of life. So, because you refuse to talk to your children about sex doesn’t mean they won’t have sex.
- It is your child’s human right to have access to comprehensive, medically accurate sex education.
- I am all for religious freedom, but just because you or your religion values abstinence doesn’t mean your kids will too. It’s important your children get all the information they can, and then decide about their own values. Please, don’t let your children risk their lives when they remain unaware about sex because of your morals
- Studies shows that educating your children about sex could lead to them having sex later than students who have not had sex education. Also, it does not encourage them to have sex, it does quite the opposite.
- Teaching your children about sex will help protect them from unwanted pregnancies and STDs
Is sexual awareness effective?
Hundreds of studies have shown that educating your children about sex can have a positive effect and help them change specific behaviors related to preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
- Your child will delay having sex until they are older.
- He/she will use condoms and contraception when they do have sex
- Your child will learn how to effectively say no; thereby reduce how often they have sex
- She/he will not have a high number of sexual partners
- Girls and women who have access to reproductive health services, contraception, are more likely to stay at school and to choose to have fewer children later in life, less likely to contract an STI or have poor health, and more likely to be employed and to participate in society